***
Scene 1
She let herself into his apartment with the spare key. They all had keys to each other’s places, just in case. On her way to the Mountain that morning, Sam had gotten a frantic phone call from Daniel saying that he had left a folder and he really really needed it for the morning briefing. Typical, slightly absent-minded Daniel. Sam smiled and promised him she’d pick it up on her way.
She smiled at the space where the fish tank used to be. Daniel had given up and settled for a calming waterfall. There was no folder on the couch or the table. His desk was to be feared. Sam stood in the middle of the kitchen, looking around, trying to think of where he may have been with it. Bedroom. She went into his bedroom. The bed wasn’t made, which wasn’t unusual. Two pillows with two head dents…. Sam smiled and shook her head. Well, Daniel was not only a very good looking man, he was also very sweet; it didn’t surprise her that he would have company. At least one of them was getting some. Clothing scattered on the floor. The folder was on the side table. A scent was in the air and she sniffed. It smelled good, familiar, but she wasn’t placing it. Aftershave? Although it was a light scent, Daniel didn’t wear aftershave; most scents irritated his allergies. Sam picked up the envelope and turned to leave but her attention was caught by the side table on the other side of the bed. A watch. Sam paused and then walked to the other side of the bed and picked the watch up. It was the standard SGC issue. She put it in her pocket and left the apartment.
Sam checked in at SGC and made her way to the briefing room. Greetings were made and returned and she slid the folder over to Daniel who smiled his thanks with a breath of relief. Sam could smell that aftershave and glanced at Daniel’s freshly shaven cheeks.
O’Neill was frowning, patting the pockets of his BDU’s down and mumbling to himself.
“Sir?” Sam asked.
“Huh? Oh, nothing, Carter. I misplaced my watch.”
Sam looked at Daniel. His face was buried in the folder, not paying attention as he concentrating on the papers. The scent wasn’t coming from him. Sam stood up and reached into her pocket.
“Try this one, Sir,” she suggested, holding out the watch. Daniel looked up, his face paling slightly as he looked quickly to O’Neill who hesitated before taking it.
“Thank you, Major,” he said in a low voice. He glanced at Daniel as he attached the watch. The strap fit perfectly to his wrist.
Sam could hear Hammond coming down the hall. She touched Jack’s hand.
“Sir. It’s ok.” She looked him in the eyes and gave him a small smile. She went back to her seat next to Daniel, gave his shoulder a squeeze, and sat down for the briefing.
Scene 2
They looked at Daniel. He was hanging upside down, a vine entwined around an ankle, swinging about five feet from the ground.
“How’d you get up there, Danny?”
The man scowled.
“Shut up, Jack. Get me down.”
SG-3, standing behind Sam and Teal’c, were snickering.
“Oh, I don’t know, Danny,” Jack considered. “I’d say the position is perfect. Right, guys?”
The others all agreed, eyeing Daniel’s hanging arms and open hairy pits.
“Jaaaack….” Daniel warned. “You do, and so help me Mary, I’ll pee all over you.”
Jack still considered. “What if I’d like it?”
Daniel rolled his eyes. He swung out a fist, barely missing Jack who danced out of the way. “I’ll call your mother,” Daniel tried a different tactic.
“HA!”
“I have her cell phone on speed dial.” Daniel recited the number. Jack paused.
“You don’t have a cell phone with you,” he tried.
“Maybe not, but she has naked baby pictures of you. On hard-drive. She has email.” Daniel recited her email address. “She has my email. I have the group email for the base.”
“Ok, Daniel, how’d you get up there? You know all that blood rush is going to give you a headache. Get him down, guys!” Jack ordered.
Scene 3
Jack, Hammond, Reynolds, Bosco, and several other big, bad, Marines were snickering at the struggling going on in the chair.
“Sam! NO!” sputter, gag, raspberries…..
“Hold still, ya big baby,” she insisted. “This is good for you.”
He struggled, the handcuffs clinking against the arm of the chair.
Sam poured more goop into her hand and plastered it onto Daniel’s face, his hair held away from his face by a flowered head-band.
“Jack! Help!”
Jack almost fell against the wall in his laughter. Even Teal’c cracked a smile.
“Don’t worry, Daniel, you’ll be beautiful!” Jack called out in hysterics, holding his ribs.
Sam repositioned herself in her straddle of his lap as she fanned Daniel’s face to dry the gunk.
“I know where you sleep, General!” Sam threatened, waving a mud-pack coated hand at Jack.
Scene 4
The snores were punctuated by occasion bouts of flatulence, which made Sam and Daniel swear never again will they allow Jack to eat garlic fried onion rings. Daniel opened the window and as Sam went downstairs for a moment. She came back into the bedroom, carefully lowered the sheets, and delicately fiddled with Jack’s backside. He smiled in his sleep and gave another snore. At the next bout of gas, Jack was startled awake by the sound of a horn.
His partners ran from the room with the giggles as Jack yanked the horn from his rear and threw it across the room.
Scene 5
An awful droning was coming from the showers.
“I’m singing in the rain just singing in the rain what a glorious feeling……”
SG-3 stormed out of the locker room, zats in hand, to hunt down SG-11. They were the only ones on base that were currently in a musicals phase of DVD releases and who would have found it extremely humorous to introduce a tone-deaf Jaffa to Gene Kelly. Dr. Jackson was next on the hit list, since he’s the one in charge of the geek squad.
Scene 6
To be continued……